Escape!!

Yesterday was pretty tough for me. I am the kind of person who doesn't scream out when something is done wrong or isn;t going right. Instead, i am the girl who holds it all back, until, with just one  more little shove, I EXPLODE. My bestfriends, all three of them were busy friday night, and i was alone. i ABSOLUTELY hate being alone, especially on Fridays. I suffer from drepression, and need to be social, which helps it. 

Being alone that night, i had alot of time to think, and cry. I was alone, all my close buddies had a guy, and the closet i've come to having someone was two years ago. i can't 

be close to anyone, they all fucking  leave in the end. all of them. One day, my girls(bffs) will go off to college, and i'll be here with my mom. and one day she will pass away. then

what? Gah damn, okokok, i need to stop jabbering on about this. especially since im alone again tonight. but tonight i feel like i can take on the world. i figured out a way to overcome lonliness. Bike rides/ adventures/ music/ how to have fun being alone..

Today, I went on the most AMAZING bike ride. Since i leave close to the beach, i decided to head down there. I sat on the bench listening to the weepies and feeding a bird couple, its so relaxing to learn how enormous the world is. that you could just sail away and leave your worries and sorrows behind

On my way back home,  i decided to take a quick detour thru the Bolsa Chica Wetlands. I reached the end of a trail, and my headphones accidently fell out as i got off my cruiser. at that moment, i heard the birds call out and the life of the area come together. the feeling was like no other. i was sooo happy to be there. it made me realize that life isn't about how many breaths you take, but about the moments that take your breath away. That moment was one of them. I stood in that spot to soak in the moment as much as possible. I truly felt soo connected to life.  I was worrying too much about the small details, that i forgot to take a step back to appreciate my life. (this photo was taking during my moment of appreciation!)